and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
