seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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