I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
