I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
