My brain says no but my pants say off.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
