Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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