what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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