where am i from again
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
