Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
