Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize