I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
