so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
