i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
