He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
