Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
