Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
