Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
