Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
