My friends, they love my intelligence
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
