I just threw up on my dentist
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize