Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
