my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
