felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Pooping to opera.
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