This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
