wrigley field is MILF paradise
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Even my vagina gasped.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i think my cat just said my name.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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