physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
