the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I lost the right to judge tonight
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