vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
