How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I wish you could order shots online.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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