Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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