Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize