I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
