i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
