I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
