Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
