Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
