u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
