just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
