it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
