Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
