I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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