Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
3pm strippers are depressing
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
