Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
