When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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