Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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