Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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