I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
