we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
