Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
