He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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