Your tits are I can't wait for
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
