We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
