Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
