just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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