why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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