Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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