cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
